From Sara in San Francisco.
Hi coach I’m really interested in coaching but I’m also really concerned people really don’t change who they are. What’s been your experience in working with families?
If you’re trying to give me a really hard question, then you succeeded! It is true, people don’t usually change their behavioral style—introvert versus extrovert type of thing. And change is hard. But brain scientists are now proving that we have great elasticity in our brains and are able to change our perspectives and our thinking patterns way into our old age.
From a coaching perspective the most important thing is to look for motivation to change. Unless someone has clear motivation to change they probably won’t. That’s why performance improvement, leadership development and company improvement is a process that happens over time. Sometimes people I think will change easily don’t and other times people I think aren’t going to change, make significant changes quickly. I’d encourage you to find a way to begin to start the process and see how open people are to new ideas and new ways of acting. Ultimately they’re not going to change some of their fundamental styles, but can maybe change some of their behaviors through greater awareness and focus. You won’t know until you start trying.