Nothing ruins a perfectly good business discussion then somebody that loses control of their emotions. Am I right?
Our emotions are real and need to be dealt with. The problem is for so many people in a family business they allow their emotions to get the best of them.
The brain scientists have proven that when our brain becomes “flooded “with emotions it seriously impacts and limits our access to the resources on the creative side of our brain. Sometimes I think of it like trying to solve problems or getting information without having access to the Internet! When your brain loses access to its creative side it really limits its creativity and ability to solve problems.
In the family business setting it is very easy to get triggered into emotional reactions. Our family dynamics and family history can come into play on what might otherwise be fairly routine business decisions.
Successful family businesses need to practice the skill of emotional self-control. We actually created a short video on the subject that gives families a step-by-step approach on this issue. You can watch the video here at:
The goal is not to eliminate the emotion. The goal is to more effectively work with the emotion. One of my favorite teachers Robert Kegan talks about the idea of whether or not “I have it (the emotion)” or “IT (the emotion) has me”. When someone learns to work with the emotion they can express it in a healthy and productive way that helps resolve the conflict. When someone does not have control of the emotion it can be very destructive and damaging to the relationships and ultimately the family business.
Becoming more skilled at emotional self-control takes time, energy and focus. Like any other skill it requires ongoing practice to maintain a high level of proficiency.
Lack of emotional self-control is one of the most volatile of the family business landmines. To see the other family business landmines click here.
Get to work today on building the muscle of emotional self-control and your family business will be well on its way to playing to its full potential!
Coach Pete
