Dear Dad,
As your family business coach, I’ve listened to your deep and genuine concern about your legacy.
One of your primary goals in life is to leave a legacy that will be meaningful to your family and fruitful for many generations to come.
I’m here for you. I want to help you do everything you can to create the most positive and long-lasting legacy.
I’ve identified a handful of things you need to learn if you are going to achieve that legacy you say that you want:
Learn to Communicate
Everyone in the family can’t read your mind. I know you think everyone should be able to figure out your legacy by just looking at your life. It’s not that simple. You don’t want to leave your legacy up to chance like that — do you? Why don’t you learn to start articulating the things that are most meaningful to you so that you can minimize the guesswork for the next-generation to understand what’s really important to you about your legacy?
Learn to Collaborate
I know this is about your legacy but it’s all about collaboration in this great new world of ours. That means you need to learn how to lay down some of the basic fundamentals of the legacy and then learn to collaborate with your family and listen about what they think the legacy can become. You’ll have a much more engaged and committed group of followers if you learn to collaborate.
Learn to be a Better Mentor
Being a great father and being a great mentor can be two different things. A mentor learns to listen and be supportive and provide the right information at the right time. Read about being a mentor and show us that you can grow some new skills as you work to set your legacy in place.
Learn How to Learn
There’s an old saying, “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks,” but in fact the brain scientists have proven that we have great elasticity in our brain even into our later years. I know you’ve been a rockstar of a dad and a business owner for years but it wouldn’t hurt you to humble yourself and become a student and develop a few new skills that will really help create a Hall of Fame Legacy for your family and community.
Learn to Trust Others
Great leaders know how to trust others. The bottom line is that the next generation is going to carry on your legacy without you. Trust them to do that in a way that is honorable and meaningful to you and who you’ve been.
Learn to Let Go of Exactly What YOU Think it Should Look Like
The more you try to control and dominate what your legacy is going to look like, the more you will push people away from it. Learn to let go of your exact vision of it and let it unfold naturally, trusting that in the end the final result is going to be perfect.
Learn to Loosen Up
I’ve met too many uptight dads that can intimidate the family and inhibit learning and authenticity. Loosen up a little bit and people will actually drop their guard, listen to you more and give you a chance to help them find their authentic self which will prepare them to help forward your legacy.
Learn to Laugh
Humor can be a great tool for bringing forth creativity and communication. Sometimes families use humor as a way of deflecting and avoiding the tough conversations–don’t do that. Learn to laugh at all of life’s unpredictable moments and even its letdowns. You know that laughter can be a great equalizer to bring everyone together as a cohesive family.
Learn to Love
At the end of the day, Dad, what I hear most from all of your family and all of your offspring is they just want your unconditional love. If you learn how to give them that, it might become one of your most important and remembered parts of your legacy.
In summary, don’t leave your legacy to chance. Learn to communicate, be more intentional about how you’re interacting with others and enjoy the journey!
Legacy is one of the first starting points in the Family Business Performance Center’s Family Business Landline Detection Map. Check it out here.
